Email From Gary Aden to Gary Aden
Email Dated 6/7/2001 

(Continue same paragraph) While researching my pedigree, a distant
relative commented that she remembered "Bud" as a young man coming to
her house while selling bibles door-to-door, which brought to mind a
curious disparity in my own mind. My Grandfather always attended church,
but I never went with him during my summer visits in Fort Worth as my
aunts always had my weekends scheduled at their houses, except once!
That was the Sunday after he had tracked me to the aforementioned visits
to the Arcades in the Fort Worth Stockyards area. On that occasion, the
two of us went to a "hell, fire and brimstone" service at the Baptist
Church. I have often wondered if that was the church he regularly
attended or whether he was a member of the Baptist religion and, if so,
whether he had rejected the Methodist tradition of the Allen pedigree
for a reason or whether he had simply gravitated to his mother's side in
religious choice as many Burlesons were Baptists. I guess I'll never
know. Did  I go back to skidrow after that? I'll never tell. 

       My mother, "Bobbie", the youngest of the three daughters was
encouraged by her sisters  to be the illusory son BJ would never have,
hence the nickname.  She was overprotected and treasured by all because
of the tender age when she lost her mother. Supposedly, she was also the
cutest, smartest and wittiest of the group. She was also Daddy's
favorite- at least until she married. In her interaction with me, she
primarily concerned herself with the here and now while setting
ambitious goals for me. The facts of her past were understood and need
not be repeated- the premature death of her mother and "bonding" with
her sisters while the mother of her stepmother(Mrs. Farmer) pampered
her, a high  school education followed by some receptionist-typing jobs,
dancing competitively against Ginger Rogers in an amateur event, and
marrying my dad almost immmediately  after a vacation in Colorado
Springs- but she never dwelled on the past.  What she didn't mention was
getting married to my father at a friend's house ostensibly out of my
father's urgent need to get back to Colorado for his job. Another view
that circulated was that the marriage had to be accomplished quickly and
almost before her father found out lest his disapproval become an
embarrassment, if not an obstacle(keep in mind-she was 24 years old when
she married). I learned the latter version only later when the schism
between my dad and grandfather  was revealed to me. When grandfather
during his sole Colorado visit seriously claimed that the water in
Colorado ran uphill and that the Sagebrush area  between Alamosa and
Fort Garland Colorado should be turned into a bombing field, the veins
popped out on my Wyoming born, ex-cowboy father's neck. At the time, I
really couldn't tell whether Grandpa Allen was joking or serious.
Regardless, I knew what my father's  sentiments were and I guess I
really couldn't blame him.   

       My conception is a subject that still provides a lot of laughs in
the family. After the marriage, my father merchandised Conoco products
in eastern Colorado while my mother sold cosmetics. Following an amorous
cosummation at the Evans Hotel in Kit Carson, Colorado, the shared
toilet was occupied so that my mother could not gain entry and exercise
the purgative birth control measures typical of the times. The pregnancy
and delivery, however, were not a laughing matter. During the pregnancy,
she developed a severe dermatitis with shedding of skin which puzzled
the Denver specialists. The vaginal delivery was accomplished over a two
day period. No doubt, contemporary practice would dictate a Caeserian
section. Her sisters urged her to abandon the plans for additional
children, but she  insisted that she needed a daughter to fulfill her
family goals. Two miscarriages and still another son, Gregory Allen
Aden, were to follow before she finally was rewarded with a baby girl,
Carla Rae Aden. 

       I had my parents to myself for over six years before my brother
was born. My mother would blame any evident emotional problems I had on
this fact claiming that I had been spoiled by all the attention everyone
showered on me. Indeed, my parents took me everywhere- to Detroit to
pick up a new car, to company meetings, put me on their shoulders when
they went dancing, etc.. After my dad's appointment as District
Superintendent for Conoco in Alamosa, Colorado, we lived for a time at
Adams State College; then at the Cascade apartments, and finally in a
house right across the street from Kindergarten. My dad then availed
himself of the opportunity to go into business and took the Wholesale
Gas Distributorship for Conoco in Del Norte, Colorado around the time of
the beginning of World War II. We lived in several rentals before
residing in our own home at  760 Pine where I essentially completed my
primary, grade school and high school education. During that time, my
mother assumed charge of the company books and essentially all household
financial records in addition to functioning as mother to the three of
us. She made sure that all of us tried to avail ourselves of the
opportunities offered in Del Norte, while making us aware that there was
a lot outside of the small town that we must acquaint ourselves with.
Consequently, we all play the piano,  learned to type, learned to deal
with the public and developed a fundamental understanding of business.
Mike, as I insisted he be called, played football. I had a
Jolson-Cantor-Williams singing act that was well-received. Karla was a
skier. We were all sent to Texas to learn to swim and acquire the
cultural tastes of the city. At the same time, she created an inviting
atmosphere for Grandpa Aden and Don & Elda Betsinger who became
established in the restaurant-motel business in Monte Vista, Colorado,
14 miles away. During the summers, the Texas relatives would frequently
vacation at our house. She never stopped thanking Gaylord, Minnie's
husband, for helping her buy her first car. He reciprocated her
affection. It was typical of the three sisters to talk to each other
long distance for a couple of hours every month. 

       She always claimed that she never knew how to cook when she
married; that what little she knew Mrs. Farmer had taught; and that my
Dad had taught her how to cook Ranch style. What she developed was a
combination that was hard to beat- Ranch style, Southern cooking. She
enjoyed gossiping in the small town and had a small clique of friends.
She avoided women's groups(she said they didn't help business and might
hurt- later, she took a Dale Carnegie course because she told the group
she had always been afraid to speak in public so that may have been the
real reason). She was close to other Conoco agents' wives. She was known
for always having her seductive Texas drawl when diplomacy was required,
but having a mind of steel when it came to her children. 

      She sustained several disappointments. First, it was suspected
that I had developed a polio syndome when I was 14. I required two
operations. The condition was serious, but by no means as serious as the
usual implications of polio. Subsequently, Carla developed strabismus
which required several eye operations. Then she developed problems with
her teeth. Concurrently, mother was developing serious dental problem of
her own which eventually would result in a full mouth extraction. There
were joys in life too as the years progressed as Mike became a CPA and
fathered three children and I became the proud father of four and an MD.
After Mike was born, mother became a smoker. Eventually, she was smoking
over a pack a day. My dad also smoked. All her children have been
smokers and I remain one. In any case, a bout of flu in 1968 ushered in
the beginning of hospitalizations for chronic bronchitis and chronic
obstructive pulmonary disease. My father suffered a coronary thrombosis
and retired selling the business and moving to San Diego, California
where I was established. 

         Mother concluded after several hospitalizations in San Diego
that she would be better off near her sisters in Fort Worth.
Accordingly, they bought a house there, but mother would enjoy it for
only a short while prior to repeated hospitalization and nursing home
care associated with her eventual demise from a cerebrovascular
accident. 

         Marital strife in mother's later years as well as other
disappointments complicated her illness, but she seemed comforted by the
spiritual reawakening in her latter days. She told my wife, Jeanne,
during a visit that she still longed for a cup of coffee and a cigaret.
She was aware that all of us children had sustained disappointments in
the process of parenting in a home with an intermittently active
alcoholic, but her advice to me was "Try to Remember the Happy Times."

          After a moving Eastern Star funeral service, she was buried at
Mount Olivet Cemetery at the foot of her brother-in-law, Gaylord so that
they are foot to foot.

See Aden Branch for More Information.

Gary Carl Aden June 7, 2001